How 1 on 1 Coaching Will Make You a Better Leader

An essential habit for any leader.

July 31, 2023
Two people meeting for a 1on1

Your team is doing challenging work. There are a variety of inputs and frequent conversations. How do you help your team stay focused, effective, and engaged? 1on1s are a vital tool in your leadership toolbox explicitly designed for this purpose.

Consider when you drive; how often do you have to adjust the steering? Even on a relatively straight road, you’re continuously steering. The act of driving is an aggregate of numerous minor corrections to keep your car in the right lane, headed in the right direction, and ultimately arriving at your destination.

Similarly, your team needs ongoing micro-engagements to maintain direction and momentum. 1on1s provide this touchpoint with a consistent structure and rhythm.

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What is 1 on 1 Coaching?

1on1s are a short weekly meeting of just you (the leader) and one of your team members where the team member sets the agenda.

Let’s break that down.

Short.

It’s only 30 minutes. It will be tempting to add time or go over. Don’t. Keeping it to 30 minutes allows you both to stay focused. Also, having a light footprint on your schedule helps prevent you from justifying skipping or canceling it on any given week.

Regular weekly meeting

1on1s happen every week, same day, same time. Consistency is critical for two reasons:

  1. You’ve already budgeted your time and attention for the 1on1. You don’t have to do the work to “find” a time for it each week.
  2. 1on1s act as a sort of release value of communication between you and your team member. When release values don’t function properly, it usually doesn’t turn out well.
Your team needs ongoing micro-engagements to maintain direction and momentum. 1 on 1s provide this touchpoint with a consistent structure and rhythm.

Just the leader and the team member

This one should be obvious from the name 1on1, but I’ve seen people try and do 1on2s, and it just doesn’t work the same. This time is for your team member, not you. Having only the two of you provides both the focus and safety to work through essential topics. Add a third person, and you lose that.

The team member sets the agenda

Giving up the agenda might be the most challenging part for many leaders. I have topics we want to cover, wisdom to impart, information to convey, and problems I want to solve. The 1on1 is not the time for that.

The 1on1 is for the team member and begins with the leader asking, “What would be most helpful to discuss today?” As the leader, you defer and allow them to set the real-time agenda.

How do I coach using a 1 on 1 on distributed teams?

I’ve been leading distributed teams since 2016. It’s been a while since my 1on1s were in person. 1on1s become even more critical because someone can’t quickly drop by my desk with their question.

Three methods I’ve used include:

  1. Zoom
  2. Phone calls
  3. Go for a walk

Zoom

Zoom has been my go-to for 1on1s for quite a while. I’ve often found Google Meet to be a bit glitchy, and since the 1on1 is all about communication, the added cost of Zoom is worth it. And actually, the free version allows for 40-minute meetings, which could help you keep to the 30-minute limit.

The expectation is to have the camera on and email closed (unless they want to discuss an email they received or are drafting). You want the full attention of both people and the ability to read non-verbals through video.

Phone calls

After a year plus of everyone working from home, I’ve used phone calls a little more just to give people a break. You lose out on non-verbal communication, but it can be a caring gesture for those experiencing Zoom fatigue.

Go for a walk

Taking a walk was my go-to strategy when I would do 1on1s in person. We’d take a 30-minute walk. We both get a mental break from the desk and screen. This break allowed us to return to the rest of the day with additional energy and focus.

Two issues to be aware of when going on a walk:

  1. Wind noise. Watch out for this if you’re taking a walk on the phone. I’ve been on 1on1s where I could barely hear the other person. Repeating everything or trying to guess at what they're saying kills the focused communication of a 1on1.
  2. Taking notes. If I’m walking with my phone, it’s a little harder to take notes. If you have a good pair of headphones, it helps with both notes and the wind noise.

Speaking of taking notes. I take notes in Asana for my 1on1s. In board view, I have a column for each team member and cards for each 1on1. This card provides a reference for what we covered which I can come back to later. It also gives me a place to track my follow-up tasks from the meeting. When you commit to doing something to help your team member, and then you forget, it dramatically reduces the effectiveness of the 1on1.

Schedule and prep

I do all of them on the same day. I like Wednesday afternoon because it provides a touchpoint and opportunity for adjustment mid-week. Right now, my team’s schedule doesn’t allow for that, so we’re doing Thursday mornings. Either way, keeping them on the same day helps me theme the days in my week. When I had 10+ direct reports, I split it across two afternoons.

The net result was a more open, predictable, and focused schedule for my team and me.

I schedule them back to back. It’s efficient for the calendar, but it also allows me to begin and end each on time. I’m demonstrating that I value their time during their 1on1 and their teammate’s time during the next 1on1.

Because they are setting the agenda, there isn’t too much prep. However, I’ll have 1-2 things to discuss if they have nothing. My teammate not having topics to discuss doesn’t happen that often. Even then, I’ll ask, “Would it be helpful to discuss…?” or “Do you have any questions about…?” I want to teach them to take the initiative in gaining clarity and owning their professional development.

You want your life to have meaning and impact.

What if your everyday work and life not only felt natural and intuitive but also aligned with your priorities and positively impacted those around you?

The impact of 1 on 1 Coaching

When you’re first starting, it’s natural to feel some resistance to adding in another weekly meeting. Especially as the leader because you might be adding five or even ten new meetings. But the impact of 1on1s is worth it.

Here are three ways 1on1s make an impact:

  1. Pays back your time
  2. Communicate care
  3. Relieve buildup

1 on 1 coaching pay back your time.

I’ve intentionally kept my teams small and focused these past few years, but there were seasons where I had over ten direct reports. Adding ten meetings to my week was not initially a welcomed idea.

I didn’t schedule all ten back to back. I did them in two waves. But even then, it consumed about half a day. I found that I had a lot fewer ad-hoc meetings throughout the week and a lot fewer emails from my team. This change was because our 1on1s covered their essential topics.

The net result was a more open, predictable, and focused schedule for my team and me. We often talk about less being more, but scheduling more 1on1 meetings results in fewer meetings.

1 on 1 coaching communicate care.

Work is busy. Email is constant. Meeting agendas are full. The 1on1 provides a break from all that through focused attention on one person and the top needs or priorities. As a leader, allocating your schedule for 1on1s communicates that you care about your team members. Their needs and priorities are your priority.

Allowing your team member to set the agenda provides a sense of agency. As the leader, you are saying, “This meeting isn’t about me. It’s about you.” Again it communicates care by elevating the voice of your team members.

1 on 1 coaching relieve the buildup.

Throughout the week, it’s natural to have non-urgent questions or ideas pop up. Do you want your team members to stroll over to your desk to share these whenever they happen to emerge? That would likely feel very disruptive when multiplied out to even a team of just five people.

The regular cadence of weekly 1on1s allows those questions and ideas to build up and then be released all at once. One of my team members keeps a sticky note next to his desk for our 1on1s. Whenever something comes up that he wants to cover during that time, he writes on the sticky note and then moves on, confident that it will get covered during our time.

Another thing that can build up is miscommunication or frustration. During stressful and challenging times, I’ve seen 1on1s help care for my team. It also helps us keep short accounts if we need to clear the air about something that happened between us. When these build up over time, it can be hazardous to a team. 1on1s help to relieve that buildup.

Action Plan

How to get started holding a 1 on 1.

Getting started with 1on1s is pretty straightforward. You can start with just three steps:

  1. Tell your team. Explain what 1on1s are, why you’re going to start doing them and explain how they will drive the agenda.
  2. Schedule the meetings. Put it on the calendar, same time repeating each week.
  3. Start this week. Like any new habit, getting started is half the battle.

Overall, 1on1s aren’t that complicated. The hardest part for most leaders is not coming up with their agenda and not talking the whole time. This deferring honestly will take some practice for most, but it’s a skill that applies to more than just 1on1s.

I first learned about 1on1s from manager tools years ago and have been practicing them ever since. They have a wealth of resources on the topic if you want to dive in. Or, if you have specific questions about how I use 1on1s, feel free to reach out on LinkedIn.

Frequently Asked Questions

Team Leadership

What is team leadership?

Team leadership is a management approach focused on leading and guiding a group of individuals working together towards a common goal. A team leader is responsible for providing direction, support, and guidance to the team members, while fostering a positive and productive work environment.

Team leadership involves setting clear goals and expectations for the team, communicating effectively, and building trust and relationships with team members. It also involves empowering team members to take ownership of their work and contribute their unique skills and perspectives to the team's success.

Some key characteristics of effective team leadership include:

  1. Communication: Team leaders communicate clearly and effectively with their team members, keeping them informed about goals, expectations, and progress.
  2. Vision and strategy: Effective team leaders have a clear vision for what they want to achieve and a strategy for how to get there, while also being flexible and adaptable when necessary.
  3. Empowerment: Good team leaders empower their team members to make decisions and take ownership of their work, while also providing support and guidance as needed.
  4. Trust-building: Team leaders build trust and strong relationships with their team members, creating a positive and productive work environment.
  5. Results-oriented: Finally, effective team leaders are results-oriented, focusing on achieving goals and driving performance while also valuing the well-being and development of their team members.

Overall, team leadership is a collaborative and empowering approach to management that values communication, trust-building, and results-driven performance.

Learn more about leadership.

What are the different styles of team leadership?

There are several different styles of team leadership, including:

  1. Democratic leadership: In this style, the leader encourages open communication and participation from all team members in decision-making processes.
  2. Autocratic leadership: This style involves the leader making decisions and taking control over the team's direction, often with little input from team members.
  3. Transformational leadership: This style focuses on inspiring and motivating team members to achieve their full potential, often by setting a clear vision and communicating goals effectively.
  4. Servant leadership: A servant leader prioritizes the needs of their team members, focusing on serving and empowering them to achieve their goals.
  5. Laissez-faire leadership: In this style, the leader provides minimal guidance or direction, allowing team members to take ownership of their work and make decisions independently.
  6. Transactional leadership: This style involves setting clear goals and expectations for team members and providing rewards or discipline based on performance.
  7. Situational leadership: This approach involves adapting one's leadership style to fit the specific situation or needs of the team at any given time.

Overall, each style of team leadership has its own strengths and weaknesses, and effective leaders may use a combination of different styles depending on the situation and the needs of their team.

Learn more about leadership.

What are the different skills required for team leadership?

There are several key skills required for effective team leadership, including:

  1. Clear: Team leaders must be to communicate effectively with their team members, setting clear expectations and goals, providing feedback, and keeping everyone informed about progress and changes.
  2. Active listening: Leaders need to be able to listen actively to their team members, hear their concerns, ideas, and suggestions, and work collaboratively to find solutions.
  3. Empathy: Good team leaders value empathy, recognizing and understanding the perspectives of their team members, and working to build trust and strong relationships
  4. Decision-making: Leaders must be able to make informed decisions based on available information and input from team members, while also being decisive when necessary.
  5. Problem-solving: Effective team leaders must be able to identify and solve problems that arise within the team, working collaboratively to find creative and effective solutions.
  6. Motivation and empowerment: Leaders must be able to motivate and empower their team members to take ownership of their work, overcome challenges, and achieve their full potential.
  7. Delegation and management: Team leaders must be able to delegate tasks effectively, manage resources and timelines, and oversee the work of the team to ensure quality and efficiency.

Overall, effective team leadership requires a combination of interpersonal, decision-making, and management skills, as well as the ability to inspire and empower team members to work collaboratively towards shared goals.

Learn more about leadership.

What is servant leadership?

Servant leadership is a leadership philosophy and management style that emphasizes the importance of serving others first before considering one's own needs and desires. It's an approach to leadership that focuses on the well-being and growth of others, rather than solely on achieving organizational goals.

A servant leader prioritizes the needs of their followers or team members, providing them with support, guidance, and mentorship. They are committed to empowering their team members to reach their full potential and achieve their goals.

Some common characteristics of servant leaders include:

  1. Empathy: Servant leaders value empathy, placing themselves in the shoes of their followers to better understand their needs and motivations.
  2. Listening: They are active listeners, taking the time to listen to their followers' concerns, feedback, and ideas.
  3. Commitment to development: Servant leaders prioritize the growth and development of their followers, providing opportunities for learning and development.
  4. Humility: They recognize their own limitations and seek input from others to make informed decisions.
  5. Stewardship: Servant leaders view themselves as stewards of their organization, working to create a positive impact for all stakeholders.

Overall, servant leadership is about creating a supportive and empowering environment for others to thrive. By prioritizing the needs of their followers, a servant leader can inspire trust, loyalty, and commitment, ultimately leading to better outcomes for the organization as a whole.

Learn more about how to cultivate servant leadership.

Servant Leadership

What is servant leadership?

Servant leadership is a leadership philosophy and management style that emphasizes the importance of serving others first before considering one's own needs and desires. It's an approach to leadership that focuses on the well-being and growth of others, rather than solely on achieving organizational goals.

A servant leader prioritizes the needs of their followers or team members, providing them with support, guidance, and mentorship. They are committed to empowering their team members to reach their full potential and achieve their goals.

Some common characteristics of servant leaders include:

  1. Empathy: Servant leaders value empathy, placing themselves in the shoes of their followers to better understand their needs and motivations.
  2. Listening: They are active listeners, taking the time to listen to their followers' concerns, feedback, and ideas.
  3. Commitment to development: Servant leaders prioritize the growth and development of their followers, providing opportunities for learning and development.
  4. Humility: They recognize their own limitations and seek input from others to make informed decisions.
  5. Stewardship: Servant leaders view themselves as stewards of their organization, working to create a positive impact for all stakeholders.

Overall, servant leadership is about creating a supportive and empowering environment for others to thrive. By prioritizing the needs of their followers, a servant leader can inspire trust, loyalty, and commitment, ultimately leading to better outcomes for the organization as a whole.

Learn more about how to cultivate servant leadership.

How can servant leadership be beneficial in the workplace?

Servant leadership can be beneficial in the workplace in a number of ways, including:

  1. Improved employee engagement and job satisfaction: When employees feel supported, valued, and empowered by their leaders, they tend to be more engaged and satisfied with their work.
  2. Increased collaboration and teamwork: Servant leaders prioritize communication, collaboration, and trust-building, which can lead to stronger relationships and more effective teamwork.
  3. Higher levels of productivity and innovation: When leaders empower their team members to take ownership of their work and contribute their ideas, it can lead to higher levels of productivity and innovation.
  4. Reduced turnover and absenteeism: Employees who feel supported and valued are less likely to leave their jobs or call in sick, leading to reduced turnover and absenteeism rates.
  5. Improved organizational culture: Servant leadership can create a positive organizational culture that values growth, development, and well-being for all stakeholders, which can lead to improved morale and outcomes.

Overall, servant leadership can lead to a more positive, productive, and fulfilling workplace environment, benefiting both employees and the organization as a whole.

Learn more about how to cultivate servant leadership.

How does servant leadership differ from other leadership styles?

Servant leadership differs from many other leadership styles in several key ways:

  1. Focus on serving others: Servant leaders prioritize the needs and well-being of their followers over their own interests, while many other leadership styles focus more on achieving organizational goals.
  2. Empathy and listening skills: Servant leaders value empathy and active listening skills to better understand the needs and perspectives of their followers, while some other leadership styles may be more focused on asserting authority or making decisions without input from others.
  3. Collaboration and teamwork: Servant leaders prioritize collaboration and teamwork, seeking to empower and develop their followers to achieve their full potential, while other leadership styles may be more focused on competition or individual achievement.
  4. Humility and accountability: Servant leaders view themselves as stewards of their organization, prioritizing the well-being of all stakeholders and taking responsibility for their decisions, while some other leadership styles may be more focused on personal ambition or avoiding blame.

Overall, servant leadership is characterized by a focus on serving others, prioritizing empathy and collaboration, and taking a humble and accountable approach to leadership. While other leadership styles may be effective in different contexts, servant leadership can be a powerful tool for creating positive change and empowering others to reach their full potential.

Learn more about how to cultivate servant leadership.

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